I'm interested to see what ideas/advice other people have and how you would handle this situation.

My son and his girlfriend live with me, both 18 , he's at uni , she is unemployed. She has been called onto one of these workfare programmes because she has been unemployed since leaving school last summer

She seems very despondant with her lot in terms of employment although she wants to him and her to secure their own flat, which obviously takes money.

Thing is she is on a mad 'apply for jobs' frenzy, mostly I suspect because of the workfare issue, but she is only going for jobs such as 'cleaner' and 'shelf stacker' and whilst of course there is nothing wrong with these jobs as such , I just feel if you have to join the rat race you should aim as high as your ability will take you.

If you were me , what would you do/what advice would you offer?

I would tell her not to sell herself short and that working as a cleaner or shelf stacker is cool if it is a means to an end what she wants to do and will allow her to achieve her goals. I would also encourage her to think about what it is she wants long term and try and put a plan together to achieve that.

I would also try and keep her motivation levels up and be there if and when she gets turned down for the jobs she has applied for.

If she really wants to get a flat etc it does indeed cost money and good for her for trying to make it happen.

Thanks Thoreau xx

I am finding this hard in many ways because she is obviously not my daughter and I don't want to interfere too much , so I'm just trying to gently nudge her

I really do get worried for the 18 years of this world coz things are getting pretty bad

As ever, I'd encourage self employment. I dunno what the dole for an 18 year old is but I'll wager it aint much! So one wouldn't need to get an awful lot of work in to be better off in the short term. With an aim toward building the long term.

Registering for SE is easy, tax returns are easy (especially for those of us that have very simple 'businesses'). Once you are registered you can do anything that brings in cash including the cleaning and stuff, legitimately. If you play the game right you pay no tax. You call the shots and you make the decisions.

EDIT: I must add that being SE doesn't preclude you doing PAYE work either if it becomes available. The tax will of course be deducted at source by the PAYE employer but when it comes to return time you will often get it refunded. Not ideal but sometimes it can be handy.

She probably feels as if she is imposing on you a bit, even though you are a good friend to her,this could explain the job seeking frenzy.

Has she any skills/hobbies or even an aptitude for something that she could channel into further education?

A trip to the local college to pick up a prospectus could give her a wee boost and maybe she may fancy having a bash at one of the courses on offer.

All good advice so far, candlelight. As for feeling bad for the 18yr olds of this world, don't fret - the man's coming for us all soon, regardless of age!



I do pretty much the same re job searches but I rarely, if ever, get any responses, and that's with 15 years previous experience under my belt, so I can only imagine how it must feel for someone who has never had the opportunity to carve themselves a career yet.

Best thing I could think to do at that age is keep an eye out for those occassional 'apprenticeship' positions they sometimes advertise. I have seen them a lot lately on directgov but I can't apply for them because of my age - though I'd love to. (I also wouldn't be able to afford my rent, but that's another issue). Depends on your area but worth keeping an eye out for. I'd much rather be learning new skills or a trade than be forced on to one of these ridiculous WP things (which actually, if people stop and think about the bigger picture, mean that there are far fewer vacancies out there, particularly for young people, who might otherwise have the opportunity to learn a trade AND get paid minimum wage...sorry. It just makes me a bit ranty).

If she's sending out CVs to local businesses too, might be worth mentioning she'd consider apprentice-type positions on the CV too, as many places won't bother to advertise.

Sounds like you're doing a grand job so far, anyway. Just keep doing what you're doing and be there with a bit of encouragement when things get tough.

If any of you ever saw the avator I posted around my birthday you would see she is better than normal at cake decoration

She made me this amazing cake then handcrafted a gizmo (from the gremlins film) to go ontop of it


Thank you for all your responses , it's making me think how I am handling this and that is exactally what I am looking for

candlelight2012 wrote:

If any of you ever saw the avator I posted around my birthday you would see she is better than normal at cake decoration

She made me this amazing cake then handcrafted a gizmo (from the gremlins film) to go ontop of it


Thank you for all your responses , it's making me think how I am handling this and that is exactally what I am looking for

I take it she's already contacted the local bakeries and cake design businesses? I saw that avatar and it was pretty amazing. I'm sure they'd snap her up, particularly if they have space for an 'apprentice' for a bit?

candlelight2012 wrote:

If any of you ever saw the avator I posted around my birthday you would see she is better than normal at cake decoration

She made me this amazing cake then handcrafted a gizmo (from the gremlins film) to go ontop of it


Thank you for all your responses , it's making me think how I am handling this and that is exactally what I am looking for

Cake decoration is quite a skill, it's in big demand right now what with all they fancy cupcakes that are on trend.Taste good to.

Also, it's evidently something she 'enjoys' doing, which is key. I think it's a bit clearer which direction you need to be nudging, candle.

Grab that cake thing and run with it is my advice

Yep cake thing. A career she loves doing.

Going self employed is a viable option on that one too as start-up costs etc should be minimal, could be easily done from home.

Its all about networking is that kind of business

& Candle, you could get involved yourself too

diamondgeezer wrote:

Yep cake thing. A career she loves doing.

Going self employed is a viable option on that one too as start-up costs etc should be minimal, could be easily done from home.

Its all about networking is that kind of business

& Candle, you could get involved yourself too

I know a local lady that does just this in her own cottage business. Her main line is wedding cakes but she'll basically do anything. I think there would be some start up costs as I'm sure the food prep regs would apply but it wouldn't be prohibitive I am sure. There are several schemes that young peeps can use to help with start up costs too.

If not apprenticeship, could she get funding for a local college course cos of her age? Now's the time to do it.

Certainly would open things up for her choice wise if she got some qualifications in something she actually enjoys doing.